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When I had Poppy, I was determined not to pass it on to her. Dr Chheda-Varma says that while many women with disordered eating continue the pattern of strictness around food with their children, others may go the other way and overcompensate. New York-based writer Dara-Lynn Weiss sparked a media storm in when she wrote about putting her seven-year-old daughter Bea on a diet in US Vogue. According to Dr Chheda-Varma, another contributory factor is that many women with disordered eating get pleasure from seeing others enjoy food. But what happens when this fear of triggering an eating disorder, or the vicarious pleasure of seeing your child eat, continues unchecked? The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other, yet neither is healthy. Both times, she sought help at an eating disorder clinic. Dr Chheda-Varma says the child will eventually notice the discrepancy between how they eat and how their mother eats. For a long time I worried that tackling her weight could lead to a problem, but I realised that if I allowed it to continue, somebody else might say something mean, which could cause problems anyway.

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