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When they did relax back into their original form, I'd have to turn away from my peers, quickly swipe my hands across my chest, and then wait until the illusion returned. The left one first, then the right one, and I'd wait until they were both erect before turning around to face people. Before getting laid for the first time, I genuinely believed that girls were going to lose their shit, put their clothes back on, and dip once they saw my inflamed chest-danglers. I laughed awkwardly and told her I was cold. I need this gone," he told me. You can walk around shirtless and not have to worry about your nipples being anything less than diamond-cutting hard. Despite all the patients Lista sees at his clinic, he tells me only a small few have unreasonably high expectations of their body. He notes that while some of them can help, none of them last forever. If it's warm out, though—like in that horrible period known as "summer"—be prepared to think of a rotating series of excuses as to why you're not stripping down to your swim shorts and diving in the pool like the rest of your friends.

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