Ask your partner to stay still on their knees, and allow you to push up against them. These simple and inexpensive butt plugs come in three different sizes: small, medium, and large. The rectum is a tight little area. How can I work my way up to having anal sex for the first time if all I've ever had in there is a finger? Back Door by Pjur is a great silicone-based option. Over the course of several sessions, play around with inserting the finger deeper, and starting to move it in and out.
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